CALORIES BURNT DURING SEX

It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now, after 'original and proprietary' research, the scientific community is proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With her consent.................................12 Calories

Without her consent............................2,187 Calories

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OPENING HER BRA:

With both hands.................................. 8 Calories

With one hand....................................12 Calories

With your teeth.................................485 Calories

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PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection..................................6 Calories

Without an erection...........................3,315 Calories

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POSITIONS:

Missionary.......................................12 Calories

69 lying down....................................78 Calories

69 standing up..................................812 Calories

Wheelbarrow.....................................216 Calories

Doggy Style.....................................326 Calories

Italian chandelier............................2,912 Calories

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ORGASMS:

Real............................................112 Calories

Fake..........................................1,315 Calories

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POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging.............................18 Calories

Getting up immediately...........................36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...1 ,816 Calories

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GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:

If you are:

20-29 years......................................36 Calories

30-39 years......................................80 Calories

40-49 years..................... ................124 Calories

50-59 years...................................1,972 Calories

60-69 years...................................7,916 Calories

70 and over........................Results are still pending

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DRESSING AFTERWARDS

Calmly...........................................32 Calories

In a hurry.......................................98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door..........5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories

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GOT IT IN THE MAIL